Flock Book
In the First Days After a Death, the House Is Full. People Bring Food, Pray and Sit With the Family. Then, After a Few Weeks, Everyone Goes Back to Their Own Lives. The Grieving Family Does Not.
This Is When a Pastor’s Care Can Mean the Most, Because It Is When the Family Feels Most Alone.
Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.
Romans 12:15 (KJV)
In the First Days
Go Quickly. You Do Not Need the Right Words. At the Tomb of Lazarus, “Jesus wept” (John 11:35), Even Knowing What He Was About to Do. Your Presence Says What Words Cannot. Pray With the Family, Help Them With the Funeral, and Ask the Church to Carry the Practical Needs.
Things That Do Not Help
- Telling Them Why It Happened. You Do Not Know.
- Telling Them to Be Strong. Let Them Weep.
- Comparing Their Loss With Someone Else’s.
- Setting a Time by Which They Should Be Feeling Better.
Plan to Stay Close
A Simple Plan Helps You Keep Caring When the Crowd Has Gone. Here Is One That Many Pastors Could Follow:
- After One Week: A Visit, With Time to Listen.
- After One Month: A Phone Call, and a Question About How They Are Managing.
- After Three Months: A Visit from a Pastor or Elder. This Is Often a Hard Time.
- On Special Days: A Word on the Birthday of the One Who Died, on the Wedding Anniversary, and at Christmas.
- After One Year: A Visit or a Call on the Day Itself.
The Day a Family Remembers
Few Things Touch a Grieving Family More Than This. A Year Has Passed, and They Think Everyone Has Forgotten. Then the Phone Rings, and Their Pastor Says: “I know what today is. I am praying for you, and I remember your mother too.” They Will Never Forget That Call.
The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.
Psalm 34:18 (KJV)
Do Not Do This Alone
Ask an Elder, a Deacon or a Mature Member Who Has Walked Through Grief to Stay Close to the Family as Well. God Comforts Us “that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble” (2 Corinthians 1:4). Those Who Have Known Sorrow Often Comfort Best.
How Flock Book Helps
With Flock Book You Can Plan a Visit and Give It to One of Your Team, So That a Grieving Family Is Not Forgotten After the First Weeks. You Can Also Keep the Family’s Prayer Requests and Follow Them Up.
